Well, in Game 8 of my Melonheads experiment, I broke Backyard Baseball 2003. It wasn’t even on purpose!
Facing the undefeated Arizona Diamondbacks, our goal was to ramp up Randy Johnson’s pitch count as quickly as possible to get him out of the game. It seemed like the best way to do that would be by only swinging once he had thrown two strikes.
Despite successfully getting his pitch count way up, the plan didn’t exactly yield results. Johnson, like Angela Delvecchio and Frank Thomas, is rated 10/10 on pitching. However, he’s even better than those two. Just as Pete Wheeler’s 10/10 speed is faster than Luanne Lui’s, Johnson’s pitching is superior to the other top arms in the game.
He gave us problems right away, as did his offense. Zena Fromme homered off Ashley Webber in the bottom of the first, turning on a pitch that was barely in the strike zone. Our first baserunner came in the top of the third as Ashley reached on a error, earning a power-up in the process as she had managed to get on base safely against a power-up pitch (specifically the Corkscrew).
Then it got weird. We had the Screaming Line Drive, which is, in my opinion, the weakest power-up of the four available on offense. That line drive hits off the wall so fast that it’s usually just a single, whereas the Crazy Bunt and Under Grounder typically give you a double and the Aluminum Power is an automatic homer.
It didn’t give us a single this time, though. Gretchen Hasselhoff hit a rocket right back to Johnson, it hit him and went straight to catcher Barbara Jones, who caught it for the out. That’s something I had never seen in all my years of playing this game. Neat.
Then Ashley got caught stealing and burned a bunch of her stamina in the rundown before getting tagged out. Even better.
Robby Bocko went deep on a fat pitch to lead off the bottom of the third, then Fromme homered on another inside pitch with two outs to make it a 3-0 game before the Melonheads had even collected a hit.
Ashley pitched just 3 1/3 innings before giving way to Kimmy Eckman, who was excellent in relief over the remaining 4 2/3. Unfortunately, we still had to find a way to score off Randy.
We got a bone thrown our way with a double play in the bottom of the fourth thanks to some of the worst baserunning I’ve ever seen. With Jones on first, Marky Dubois singled to center. He tried to stretch it into a double and got thrown out. Jones was two thirds of the way to third … and she turned around and got tagged out at second.
Even on Hard, the AI in this game is outlandishly stupid sometimes. That meant another power-up. This one was a Crazy Bunt, and we saved it for our fastest hitters. Ashley used it for a single in the top of the sixth, our first hit of the game. The plan was to use it again with Gretchen, but Randy blew a Fire Ball right by her to strike her out.
It was also supposed to be a hit-and-run, and Ashley got thrown out trying to steal for a strike ‘em out, throw ‘em out double play to end the inning. Cool.
Kimmy wiggled her way out of a jam in the bottom of the sixth, dealing with runners on second and third with one out but escaping unscathed by striking out Raquel Cullen and getting Jones to pop out. We came back to the top of the plate in the seventh … and Gretchen was still batting even though she struck out to end the sixth.
I checked after the game and confirmed that this is a recurring glitch in Backyard Baseball 2003. If you end an inning with a strike ‘em out, throw ‘em out double play, the batter who struck out will return to the plate to start the next inning as if the inning had ended on a standard caught stealing, rather than a double play.
We also still had the Crazy Bunt at our disposal, and Gretchen used it for a double. Maria Luna then doubled her in with two outs, but we’d fail to scratch out any more runs in the inning. Randy worked around a one-out Eckman single and Billy Jean Blackwood walk in the eighth by striking Ashley out and getting Gretchen to hit into a fielder’s choice, and he’d finish the 133-pitch (!) complete game in the ninth by striking out Maria, Lisa Crocket and Jocinda Smith after allowing back-to-back infield singles to Ricky Johnson (no relation) and Reese Worthington.
WP: Randy Johnson (6-0) LP: Ashley Webber (2-2)
It got even weirder after the game. I went to check the standings, and … what’s wrong with this picture?
I’ve been playing this game since 2003, and I’ve literally NEVER seen this happen. I’m curious if it’ll stay like this as the season progresses.
Things are much more sensible on Backyard Soccer 2004, where the Melonheads have clinched the B Division title and promotion to the A Division.
A summary of the last few games:
W 4-0 @ Junior Giants
W 3-1 vs. Green Bombers
W 4-1 @ Blue Boots
W 6-0 vs. Mighty Wombats
W 2-1 @ Little Rockets
That includes a four-goal game by Jocinda Smith against the Giants and hat tricks by both Jocinda and Kiesha Phillips in the win over the Wombats. Maybe the A Division will feature more serious competition.
Oh, and a few days ago I did a Backyard Baseball 2003 home run derby too. Achmed Khan beat Pablo Sanchez in the finals.
Join us next time on Twitch for more fun!
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