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Writer's pictureEthan Kassel

The Melonheads Are a Full-Fledged Sporting Club

On Backyard Baseball 2003, all pitchers have them same four pitches: Heat (fastball), Slowball (self-explanatory), Left Hook and Right Hook. This is worth noting because the differences in pitcher ratings are mainly reflected in accuracy, rather than being able to throw more pitches. It’s also worth noting because for my third game with the Humongous Melonheads, my added wrinkle was to take one of those pitches out of the equation.


I decided it would be a fun idea to play while obeying the laws of physics, which meant that right-handed pitchers weren’t allowed to throw the Left Hook and left-handed pitchers weren’t allowed to throw the Right Hook. With Lisa Crocket on the mound, this meant she was without one of her best pitches. Her hooks are by far her two best pitches, and without one of them at her disposal, it was going to be awfully hard to win.


Those obstacles came into the spotlight right away as the Atlanta Braves jumped out to an early lead, with Veronica Lee crushing an opposite-field homer to right just two batters in. Artie Pimbleton walked and scored on a throwing error by Billy Jean Blackwood in the third, a far cry from the gem that Crocket throw on Opening Day against the Marlins.


It seems that putting obstacles in the way of pitching rather than hitting is the way to go with Backyard Baseball. The poor lineup I’ve assembled is enough of a challenge, and with one of the best CPU players on the hill for the Braves in Jay Green, the early 2-0 lead looked like a major problem. We’d finally get a power-up in the fourth and cash in, scoring on back-to-back Under Grounders as Crocket hit a ground-rule double and Kimmy Eckman singled to tie it, but a rundown ended the inning. It wouldn’t stay tied for long, with Ronny Dobbs hitting a solo homer in the sixth to put Atlanta (2-1) back in front. Crocket was done after 5 2/3, and though Ricky Johnson got out of the inning without allowing an inherited runner to score, he’d allow a homer to Robert Young in the seventh. Gretchen Hasselhoff would record the final seven outs for the Melonheads, but the four runs were more than enough for Green. He’d allow just four hits and two unearned runs while striking out 13 over 7 2/3, and when he finally wore out after 99 pitches, Chad Koppel came in and recorded the final four outs. Ashley Webber got an infield hit off Koppel but was caught stealing, and despite back-to-back singles by Maria Luna and Jocinda Smith to open the bottom of the ninth, Blackwood would ground out and Crocket and Eckman would strike out to end the game and send the Melonheads (1-2) to a second consecutive defeat.


WP: Jay Green (1-1) LP: Lisa Crocket (1-1) SV: Chad Koppel (1)


As disheartening as the loss was, the day wouldn’t be a total farce for the Melonheads. The Humongous Melonheads are like a full European-style sporting club, with teams across different sports, including a soccer team.


While it’s easy to throw challenges into the mix in Backyard Baseball, there aren’t too many things I could come up with to make my road a bit harder in Backyard Soccer 2004 aside from building the worst possible roster.


Who’s on that team? I’m glad you asked!


As you can see, we have a couple holdovers from the baseball team in Kimmy and Jocinda, but the rest of the roster is a different group of kids.


If you’re unfamiliar with Backyard Soccer, it’s one of the most popular games in the franchise because of its season format. Rather than just going through a single league, teams can ascend from the B Division to the A Division and Premier Division before finally playing in a World Cup. On top of that, the best teams at the halfway point of each season get invited to the Off the Wall Indoor Tournament. We played our first game against the Junior Giants and won 3-0, with Marky Dubois scoring our opening goal and Kiesha Phillips tallying one in each half. Ernie Steele made eight saves for the clean sheet.

Come join us next time on Twitch for more Backyard fun!

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