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Writer's pictureEthan Kassel

The Best Worst Game

There’s something really endearing about going to a bad baseball game.


I’d rather sit through a blowout loss than a tight one. If you’re going to have to lose a game, might as well have some fun with it. The first few innings of a blowout loss might suck, especially if you have high hopes only to see your starter get shelled, but the later innings tend to be the most fun you’ll have at a loss. A few innings of mop-up guys, joking around and maybe seeing some sort of weird history is awfully enjoyable. Yes, I’d rather see a win, but if I’m going to suffer through a loss, might as well be a blowout rather than getting your hopes up only for something awful to happen in the later innings.


The bad game that really comes to mind for me was one the A’s played against the Astros on May 7, 2018. Houston scored two in the first, three in the second and absolutely broke the game open with six in the fourth, a game that would ultimately end 16-2. The later innings actually ended up being pretty fun, especially when George Springer tallied his sixth hit in the ninth inning. Even if his 6-for-6 game was entirely based on knowing what pitch was coming, seeing a guy get six hits is incredibly rare, and I was really excited to see it happen.


With that in mind, I had a ton of fun deliberately playing the worst game possible on Backyard Baseball 2003. Facing an absolutely loaded Seattle Mariners team (their worst hitter was rated 7/10), I decided to have some fun with infield shifts. It turned out that playing the defense back is a really bad idea. It’s only worth doing if you’re facing a hitter with a ton of power but no speed, like Todd Helton. It’s not worth doing against, say, Ichiro. The first three batters all reached against Ashley Webber, then Mikey Thomas hit a grand slam. With two outs in the inning, opposing pitcher Betty Houston got the green light on a 3-0 count and hit a two-run homer of her own to make it 6-0 before she even took the mound. That was all for Ashley, with her ERA rising from 1.95 to 3.35. Reese Worthington relieved her to eat up a few innings, and things only got worse from there … or better, depending on if you, like me, enjoy a bad game every now and then. He got tagged with nine runs (seven earned) in the second inning, with Houston hitting her second homer in the process. He’d go on to pitch through the sixth, allowing just one more run on Mikey’s double in the fifth. Billy Jean Blackwood was next up to eat innings, and she was greeted with a homer by Courtney Valentino, who replaced Houston on the mound in the second inning. Broadcaster Sunny Day thought it was a foul ball.


See, the opener works. We used an opener and Ricky Johnson hit a homer. Seattle (11-1) used one and got rewarded with the offense absolutely exploding.


Billy Jean allowed two more solo shots in the eighth inning as Houston hit her third on the day and leadoff hitter Francis Blewer added the sixth Mariner homer of the day. We finally got something clicking on offense in the bottom of the eighth thanks to a power-up. Back-to-back singles by Reese Worthington and Ricky Johnson set up Maria Luna for an Under Grounder, an RBI double as part of her four-hit day. Lisa Crocket would reach on an error as another run scored on what would have been an RBI groundout if Mikey would have caught the throw to first, and Jocinda Smith doubled in two more runs.


The worst-rated pitcher on the team, Jocinda also got tasked with throwing the ninth inning. She disposed of the Mariners, who were clearly bored after putting up 19 runs, on just four pitches.

WP: Courtney Valentino (1-0) LP: Ashley Webber (3-3)


As for Backyard Soccer 2004, remember how I couldn’t get a shutout in A Division play? That’s a thing of the past. That Super-Duper Hornets team that held us to a draw the first time around? Beat them 5-0. That got followed up with 4-0 wins over both the Scrambling Egg-Headers and D.C. United, securing promotion to the Premier Division. One more win will lock up the A Division title.


Come hang out next time on Twitch!

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