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Writer's pictureEthan Kassel

Playing the Game the Right Way

Baseball is full of time-honored traditions, and one of the most inescapable practices within the sport is for crusty old farts to get mad any time their team loses, blaming them for not “playing the game the right way” and arguing for them to bunt more, which is stupid.

I decided to try this out on Backyard Baseball 2003. It actually worked.

I felt like there was no better time to do it than against a first place team, since any loss to a team like the Astros sends all the old farts to Facebook blaming the loss on not bunting more, even though the Astros, a loaded team regardless of any scandals, never bunt, which is why they win. Plus the game was played at Dubois Diamond, on a farm. Farm folks love bunting. The undefeated Montreal Expos were going to be subjected to a barrage of bunts like to team had ever seen before.

We “played the game the right way” by adhering to the practice of “get ‘em on, get ‘em over, get ‘em in.” If a batter got on first, we’d try to have them steal, and if there were less than two outs, we’d bunt. This strategy backfired in the third despite Reese Worthington singling and Gretchen Hasselhoff’s bunt going for another hit. Reese got thrown out at third when Ricky Johnson followed with another bunt and Gretchen got caught stealing before Maria Luna struck out to end the threat.

After wasting Aluminum Power, the best power-up in the game, we stayed locked in a scoreless tie into the seventh as Lisa Crocket absolutely dominated, but the offense failed to capitalize. Ashley Webber reached on an error to open the seventh, and when Lisa followed with a bunt attempt of her own, the Expos had another defensive miscue to put runners on the corners. Kimmy Eckman would pop out and Reese struck out, but Gretchen’s tapper to no-man’s land let Ashley score to finally break the scoreless draw.

Montreal (4-1) would finally produce some semblance of offense in the seventh, but Vladimir Guerrero would get thrown out trying to turn his double into a triple and Lara Nunez would get thrown out trying to stretch a single into a double. Even on Hard Mode, the Backyard Baseball AI is full of gifts.

More bunts led to more runs in the eighth, with a Jocinda Smith sacrifice setting Lisa up with two on and two out. She delivered a double to left-center to score a pair, and Kimmy followed with an RBI single to make it a four-run lead. Lisa needed just three pitches to get three groundouts in the bottom of the eighth, and with little time to cool off, the Melonheads got right back to work on offense in the ninth with a rally for the ages. It started with a Ricky infield hit, and on Maria’s bunt, the Expos tried to throw to second but couldn’t catch Slick Rick. Jocinda followed with a bunt of her own … and again, they tried and failed to get the lead runner!

With the bases loaded, what would Billy Jean Blackwood do?

She’d bunt, of course. It was perfectly placed, Ricky scored and it was 5-0. Ashley would try the same with Guerrero pitching to replace the beleaguered Walter Hall, and though the Expos would get the force at the plate, Ashley earned us more Aluminum Power.

Unlike the last time, we wouldn’t waste it. Lisa hit a grand slam and both Kimmy and Reese would add solo shots before the power-up finally expired, making it 11-0.

Lisa entered the bottom of the ninth at just 60 pitches, leaving a glimmer of hope that she could complete the incredibly elusive 69-pitch complete game. On a 2-2 count, Fernando Diaz hit a rocket to left that Ricky was able to flag down. Walter Hall grounded out on an 0-2 count, putting Crocket at 68 pitches. She’d need Sheila Basanti to go down on just one pitch to finish the impossible task.

Lisa delivered a Left Hook over the plate with the intent of forcing a first-pitch swing. Sheila complied, grounding one up the third base line. Quick to field her position and beat Jocinda to the ball, Lisa grabbed it and fired to first. The impossible had happened. Better than a Perfect Game. It was a Nice Game.

That’s what happens when you play the game the right way.


WP: Lisa Crocket (2-1) LP: Walter Hall (1-1)

Oh yeah, I played more Backyard Soccer 2004 as well. We beat the Little Rockets 2-0 on goals by Dmitri Petrovich and Kimmy Eckman, then got locked in a tight battle with the Super-Duper Hornets where Marky Dubois finally scored three-quarters of the way through the second half for a 1-0 victory.

Come join the fun next time on Twitch!

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