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Writer's pictureEthan Kassel

A Tribute to Bert Campaneris

One of the ideas I had been looking to play out for a while on Backyard Baseball 2003 was to play a Bert Campaneris game. Campaneris is one of four players to have played all nine positions in an MLB game, having since been joined by Cesar Tovar, Scott Sheldon and Andrew Romine.


It seemed like it would be fun to try, but why try it with just one player? Why not do it with the entire team?


For the 13th game in my “Breaking Backyard Baseball” experiment, I decided to give this a go as the Melonheads hosted the Minnesota Twins.


It got off to a very poor start. With Lisa Crocket’s fielding ratings down, three first-inning errors led to four runs (one earned) against Gretchen Hasselhoff, coming in on two-run homers by Achmed Khan and Lorelei Ikaye. Kimmy Eckman pitched the second inning and got only slightly more help than Gretchen from the defense. Another Crocket error led to an Ikaye RBI single, and the inning mercifully ended at 5-0 when Wing Kwan got thrown out trying to advance to third.


The next few innings went better, but I thought it would be awfully hard for such a poor offense to erase a five-run deficit.


Little did we know, we’d get some help. The Twins were every bit as bad on defense as we were, and an error on an Eckman pop-up earned a Screaming Line Drive power-up. Billy Jean Blackwood’s hit to open the bottom of the fourth set up the perfect opportunity to use the power-up, and Lisa used it to rip a single to center that put runners on the corners. Ashley Webber followed with a double to score them both, Kimmy singled Ashley in, Gretchen used it for yet another hit and then, after the power-up expired, Reese Worthington’s hit a fielder’s choice that loaded the bases. Ricky Johnson’s single moved everyone up a base (60 feet, as the dimensions are in the game) and cut it to 5-4, and Jocinda Smith’s grounder got a force out at third but let Gretchen score the tying run. Billy Jean came up again against a new pitcher, Carlos Ocampo, and her single brought in the go-ahead run.


Billy Jean took care of the top of the fifth on just six pitches, and the offense added two more runs in the bottom of the fifth off an Achmed error as Reese hit into a force out to score Ashley and Ricky singled in another run. Ashley got an infield hit with two outs in the bottom of the sixth and stole second, one of our 13 (!!!) stolen bases, and Kimmy singled her in.


Oh yeah, we stole 13 bases. If this experiment proved anything, it’s that catcher and pitcher defense are EXTREMELY valuable in Backyard Baseball. Ashley, Reese and Ricky each stole three bases on the day. Ashley also had four hits while Billy Jean and Ricky each had three.


An error and three singles, the last of which came from Billy Jean, made it a five-run lead in the bottom of the seventh after Ricky pitched a clean top half of the inning, Maria pitched the eighth and Reese closed it out. After scoring four in the first, Minnesota (5-8) had just two hits across the final six innings.


So what did the experiment teach me?


Not much. But it’s good to remember that catcher and pitcher defense are important on Backyard Baseball. Outfield defense is far less significant, even if you’re facing a team full of good hitters.

WP: Lisa Crocket (5-2) LP: Wing Kwan (3-3)


Oh, and the standings glitch fixed itself. Our gimmick adventures mean we won’t be heading to the playoffs. But we’ll play another season where the goal is just to win.


I also finished off the A Division on Backyard Soccer 2004, picking up a fourth straight shutout in a 3-0 win over the Spiffy Penguins to clinch the title. The shutout streak ended at 10 halves in a win over the Dallas Burn, but Dmitri Petrovich tallied a hat trick and Ernie Steele came all the way down the field to score a goalie goal. We were tied with the Colorado Rapids in the final game at halftime but scored three goals in a flash, ultimately winning 3-1 as Dmitri scored twice and Kiesha Phillips added another goal.


I’ll be streaming on Twitch again soon. Come hang out and mess around next time!

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